A non natural woman's adventures in natural child birth

I don’t like granola. I never have. I have tried it in various stages of my life- convinced that this trendy, earthy snack should be part of my life. But I just don’t like it and really I can’t make myself eat it. On my grocery list every week I write “granola bars”- but that’s not what I get. Nope- I get nutrigrain bars- but that doesn’t seem nearly as healthy or trendy to even have on my grocery list. So I lie- even if only to myself.

This is only a mere example of one of the many ways that I am probably one of the least natural people that you will ever meet. From about 45 minutes after I wake up to about 15 minutes before I go to bed, my face is covered with an unnatural cosmetic that enhances my features to be something that they are not on their own. I eat processed food. I don’t hike. I don’t really even like to sweat that much. The wind on my back and the sun on my face is not a feeling that I prefer nearly as much to the air conditioning on my feet. I eat oreos and watch the Bachelor. I don’t recycle.

Needless to say, I am not a “natural person”and no one who has spent more than 10 minutes talking to me- and observing the gobs of mascara that I applied earlier that morning- would ever say that I am. So why, one might ask- would I choose to "go naturale" for one of the most challenging things I will ever do- give birth to a baby?

I have lots of reasons that I want to do this- and if you REALLY care that much, most of my reasons could be summed up in the movie "The Business of Being Born". However as stated before- people are TOO OPINIONATED when it comes to pregnancy, so I will not dare try and tell anyone what they should or shouldn't do. But for some reason this unnatural woman is drawn to this natural experience of bringing a child into the world.

I realize the odds are stacked against me- the biggest odd of all being myself. But my uber supportive husband and I are pursuing this goal and drinking the kool-aid of our natural child birth class- which is an adventure all in it's own. At the end of the day on my son's birth day, I just want to hold my little boy and know that he is healthy and here...but I would also like to fall asleep that night- or maybe not fall asleep- knowing that my husband and I were able to achieve this goal together.

Call me crazy and place your bests that I can't do it (some days I'd bet against myself as well..and we could use the winnings) but just don't say it to my face or I'll blog about you. So this unnatural woman will go back to the paradox of drinking her caffeinated pop (do not judge me) and reading her natural child birth "how to" book. But cue the "Chariots of Fire" music because my goal is to give you a run for your money.