Tuesday, October 19, 2010

A pep talk for Baby Gus

My due date has come and gone. As much as I bragged and let on that I was totally fine going past my due date and letting our little man who my family lovingly refers to as Baby Gus bake as long as he can, I might not be the super hero woman that I thought I was and am getting a little on edge waiting for him. When you hear a deadline, it’s engrained with you- there is no other date in the history of the world short of my own birthday that I have ever quoted to so many people. When is your baby due? October 17th. It’s as easy as that. But now when I say October 17th it is PAST tense as opposed to future tense, which can cause a poor hormonal woman a teeny bit of angst. Not to mention the countless phone calls from people asking me if I’ve had a baby yet.

All along I have hoped that this sweet child of mine would be born on 10/23- for silly reasons that don’t really matter all that much- and quite honestly if I KNEW he was coming on that date, I don’t think I would have a problem. It’s just the fact that I don’t know and that I’m not in control. (I haven’t blogged about how I’m a control freak yet. That’s another topic for another day.) This leaves my mind reeling with all sorts of thoughts. For example; what if I’m the only woman in the history of the world to ever stay pregnant forever? As gratifying as being in the Guinness Book of World Records would be, I just don’t think it could compare to holding my little baby in my arms…and plus, they would probably just put my picture next to the woman with the world’s longest fingernails or something and I would just pale in comparison to her. Or maybe this has all been the world’s longest dream and I just believed it so much with all of my heart that I told all of my friends and family, but all that has really happened is that I have eaten too many oreos which as caused the wasteline expansion. Then, being a stereotypical woman who second guesses myself constantly, I have wondered if maybe Baby Gus doesn’t want to come meet me. Maybe he has the innate wisdom to know that his mother is a tad bit awkward, probably won’t let him drink pop until he’s 10, doesn’t really understand the rules to football and that he’s going to grow up in a house that doesn’t have cable television! Where’s the incentive to come out now?

In my desperation to want my baby to want to meet me, I have written him a letter. Now I am generally annoyed at people to send their children social networking messages when their children are not of the age to have such devices, but again, I am the CEO and President of this blog, so I can be a hypocrite when I want to be. In the event that technology is so advanced that my unborn child can access a weblog in utero, this is the message that I would like to send him:

Dear Baby Gus:

Your mommy and daddy are very excited to meet you and hope that you will come out very soon to meet us. Your mommy has put together a list of all the reasons that you probably really want to join us as soon as possible:
• Mommy made you your very first Halloween costume and if you don’t get here in time you won’t get to wear it. (This is true- I have MADE him the cutest Halloween costume- a hot dog. A tribute to my one and only craving during my pregnancy. Now this mommy doesn’t do ANYTHING crafty, so this is a huge achievement and I would be remisce if we weren’t able to utilize it.)

• We just bought Captain Crunch cereal at the grocery store. This is a very special treat and not something that I believe we have ever had in our house- however amazing things happen when you get bored at Target. At any rate, if you understand the science behind breast feeding, you will know that it is likely to taste like things that Mommy just ate, so if you play your cards right, you’ll get to indulge in this nectar of the gods in your first week of life.

• Your mommy and daddy finally picked out an AWESOME name for you and we CAN’T WAIT to tell everyone what it is. We haven’t told a soul your name except for the Etsy.com lady that made him his personalized blanket…and we are bursting at the seams.

• The Texas Rangers MIGHT just make it to the World series. This would be the first time ever in the history of the franchise and I just know that your Daddy would like to watch those monumental games with his little boy in tow.

• Your daddy has really big shoulders and the longer you're inside of mommy, the bigger your little shoulders get. All mommy can say is "yowza."

We have lots of fun things planned for you and hope that you really like us. Even though we don't know EVERYTHING that we're doing, we're going to try our best and promise to embarrass you as little as possible. We're all ready to meet you and can't wait to see what you look like. Come see us soon.

Daddy and Mommy

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Timing is everything

Here we are at t-minus 2 days to go- give or take depending on when I actually go into labor. I have my hospital bag half way packed, a pack-n-play in my bedroom, bottles in my kitchen cabinets and breast pads in my dresser drawer- I am officially ready to be a mother.

I got the question the other day, "so has anyone else said anything heinously inappropriate about your pregnancy lately." Ha ha! Of course they have! BUT as I am trying to finish out the pregnancy as Little Miss Mary Sunshine (in spite of my super swollen feet and the fact that I found my very first stretch mark) I thought I would share a NICE comment for once.

So I was stopped in a baby store by some people that knew me when I was growing up. We exchanged pleasantries and they commented on me being pregnant and then a miracle happened:
Sweet Lady that I will forever remember with fondness: Well, sweetie, now when are you due?
Me: Sunday is my due date.
Sweet Lady: Sunday? Well, my goodness,dear-you aren't that big!

What? I'm not that big?! I wanted to hug her in the potty chair aisle. After all of the people that asked me if I was having twins, after all of the gawking when I told people I wasn't due for two more months- I finally received my just reward! Ah, there is good in mankind :).

In all seriousness, being pregnant has been 9 of the most wonderful months of my life. It's amazing to actually live a miracle- not something that I get to do every day. I think I freaked my husband out when I said that I didn't mind if we were pregnant again really soon- to which he reminded me that the thing that happens after the pregnancy is the taking-care-of-the-kid thing which we have NO IDEA yet if we are any good at yet. Therefore I recanted my statement.

So I will forever be grateful to the sweet potty chair aisle lady. This on the night after I burst into tears after I tried real shoes on for the first time in 2 months and realized that none of my shoes fit any more. God really does know what we can handle...

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Macho macho man...

I grew up with lots of sisters. In an effort to maintain my anonymity which is really quite silly as everyone that reads my blog is someone that I know, I will not say how many sisters that I have..but there are lots of us. We are a force to be reckoned with. All that being said, I know girls. I saw my mother raise lots of us. We're dramatic, we're hormonal, we're petty...we're girls! And for those of you who have learned about opposites- the opposite of girls are BOYS! Boys are scary. Which is why when our dr. told us that we were having a boy (his exact words were "well that's a weiner") it was quite a sobering moment for me- even in spite of the word weiner ringing in my ears.

Boys are a mystery to me. Even though I am married to one- I haven't quite figured them out. Our society would have us believe that they are shallow, non-complex, hot headed pigs who think about three things- sports, boobs and food- maybe throw in a video game here and there- but that's pretty much the sum of today's stereotypical American male. Our society would also have us believe that we women were sent here to earth to make these men civilized and that we, in all of our wisdom, put up with these men and their silliness. This is not what I believe- I believe that God can use a man of conviction and morals to do amazing things. Sadly, this is not what most of the men in today's society are being challenged to be.

Raising a boy is a scary thought for me because I see the world that they are being made to be brought up in, and I'll just say, it's not a friendly place. Boys have a lot against them- girls do to, but I feel that the very essence of who a man is is at risk in our society today. It's what I call the "deballification of the American Male"- which I know is classy, but hey, I'm going for truth, not class. I know that times change, people change and social norms change, but an observation that I have made as of late is that men are not encouraged to be men any more. They're not encouraged to pursue things like they once did or have a vision for anything more substantial than what's for dinner.

So all that to say- I'm shaking in my boots thinking about raising a boy in this next generation. How do you raise a boy to be a man that has a passion for God, has morals, has conviction and has a dream worth pursuing? I haven't quite figured it out yet.

I do know that I have a lot to learn. Case in point- last Saturday I was at my little brother's soccer game. I have lots of sister, but God put the cherry on top when He sent us our little brother who is 21 years younger than I am. He is 7 and is playing in his second year of soccer. As he played the goalie position, two goals got past him and one of his teammates started to get mad at him and told him he needed to do better. Now the big sister in me started to get livid upon witnessing this- and I am not a quiet, livid person. No, when I'm livid, I usually like to channel that into something non-productive- like tripping 7-year-olds. My plan to make this situation right was to trip the teammate as he ran by on the sidelines and tell him to watch himself. Nice- yes, not only am I a big sister, but I'm a role model too, apparently...and one that is getting ready to be a mother no less. As my brother came off the field crying and I inched my foot further away from me...I heard my mother consoling- not babying, but consoling my little brother by saying "He's going to do what he's going to do- you're not in control of him, you're only in control of yourself." Immediately I pulled my foot back and realized- this is exactly the moment that I would have needed to know how to be a good mom. Instead of fighting the battle for my little boy- or getting arrested for harming small children- I needed to be able to make this a life lesson- and had I been the mom in this situation, I would have completely failed.

So with t-minus 5 days to go, I have to admit that I have SO MUCH to learn. And I'm a little scared by that. I have heard the quote- "It's easier to build a boy then to mend a man." I am hoping that God gives me the wisdom as a mom to build a boy- complete with holding back my foot when I'd rather trip an adversary- rather then leave it up to someone else to mend a broken man. Maybe my son will come out with the perverbial handbook- or maybe I'll have to learn it along the way- complete with mistakes. Stay tuned for more mistakes, I have a feeling.