I am into my fourth week of being on maternity leave. It has been completely fabulous and I words can't even describe how much I love spending time with my little boy. I have never stayed home in my life except for two weeks when I was unemployed. I got my first job when I was 16 and have worked ever since unless I was on a mission trip- I am not even joking. So being home is a weird, but wonderful feeling. Too bad it can't last forever...
I will say the one DOWNSIDE to being at home is day time television. FOR REAL. I am terribly unimpressed with what is offered as well as what is covered. As previously stated, we do not have cable television in our home. It wasn't until about two months ago that this family even had the internet, so we aren't going any where (technologically speaking) fast. Now, I love a good "Today show"- in fact that used to be my life's ambition- to be the next "Katie Couric" back in her Today show days. But the rest of it is just depressing. Here are a few thoughts on how non-exciting day time television is:
• America's Funniest Home Videos- This show is on ALL THE TIME. And while you think that seeing someone get hit on the crotch while trying to break a pinata will never get old- it actually will. Why is this show on at all hours of the day? And why are all of the videos from the 90's? Probably because everyone is posting their videos now to YouTube, so I am seeing an economic breakdown where home movies are concerned. Hopefully the YouTube generation will shut this show down. I really just can't take it any more.
• There are 100,000 Dr shows on day time television. It's a wonder that people that are able to stay at home all day aren't hypochondriacs. Between Dr. Oz, the Doctor's and all of the herbal supplement informercials, I have discovered that I can use alcaseltzer as a remedy for canker sores, I will probably die of heart disease becuase I have a stressful job, my bra doesn't fit me correctly and if I don't take my entire antibiotic as prescribed, my liver might explode..or something like that.
• What the heck are we paying loads of money for? I saw a news story on a chimpanzee at a zoo that was addicted to cigarettes. Well, apparently the story doesn't stop there. Someone out there felt the need to send that chimp to REHAB! Yes, somewhere out there, someone has the superfluous dollars to send a monkey to a rehabilitation center. Why that generous donor can't write me a big fat check so that I can stay at home with my little boy is beyond me. Clearly, helping a primate kick the habit of tobacco is a far loftier charity. Come on, people. There are hungry people in our own backyards, there are children that are dying of child abuse because we don't have the resources to take them out of their homes, the rent in New York is to dang high and yet we are paying for MONKEYS TO GO TO REHAB. Do I need to say it one more time? Spare me- my heart rate is getting higher, which Dr. Oz would tell you will kill me in time..and stress is bad for weightloss.
• Do we need any more gameshows in America? And where are they getting all of these studio audience people? I have never heard someone tell me that they are going on vacation and they get to sit in the audience to watch a taping of "Let's Make a Deal." I don't even think I would go if someone offered me free tickets. I think my favorite was watching a Muslim family wearing burka's compete on "Family Feud". Now I'm all about diversity...and there is nothing wrong with wearing a burka if you so choose; however it just seems like a complete paradox to be on a game show listing off jobs in which men can go shirtless and still be wearing a burka. Odd combination...but whatever.
• How does one get to be labled an "expert" in America? I want to be one. I could tell you the same things these "experts" are telling people and probably save you a ton of money on the research end of it. Here is an example- "Experts say that men and women really ARE different." or "Experts say that kids who text more than 200 times a day are more likely to be involved in activities there parents don't know about." WHAT? Why did we need to do a study on this? I could have told you that. It's called boundaries people!! Set them. Ay yay yay. Again, with the heart rate. Maybe this falls under the chimps with smoking habits category, but do we really need to so studies on things that are just common sense? And what does it pay to be an expert anyways? Are there are any part time expert jobs available out there? I think I would make a darn good expert.
Don't even get me started on all of the courtroom television shows. I haven't let myself watch even one becuase I think I would become too depressed. Maybe an "expert" should do a study on how smart it is to let your unemployed boyfriend come live with you and borrow your money to "fix his car." 9 out of 10 experts agree that he will probably use your car money to buy presents for the girl that he's cheating on you with, move out, take your furniture and leave a stain on the carpet... and you will wind up on Judge Judy trying to get back your security deposit. Classy stuff, folks.
Therefore I am opting to shut off the day time television and watch old episodes of "I love Lucy." Much more realistic than the society that we live in today...
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
BOYCOTT BABIES R US
Today my thoughts are random and varied...probably because I am a new mommy and sleep is low on my list of items of things I get to do lately. Really everything is low on my list of things that I get to do besides feed the cutest baby in the world. I added it up yesterday- each feeding takes around one hour and he has about eight feedings per day...which means, I have a full time job JUST feeding this kid. Now if this job paid as much as my other (less important) full time job, then we would be in business...but this one compensates only in love and poopy diapers.
The most profound thought in my mind today is the fact that I am officially boycotting BabiesRUS. That's right. I know it should be a staple in my life for the next 6-12 months; however I have decided that Babies R Us is the devil. Particularly the Store Manager, Steve, at the 71st and Memorial store in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Oh yeah, I'm naming names. Don't mess with hormonal mommies. Here is the story behind this revelation:
You would THINK that if you are going to place your livelihood in managing a store that is targeted at providing goods and services for new and expectant mothers, you would exhibit some type of new mother couth. Maybe they have classes like this for men-I'm not sure, but you would think that Babies R Us in particular might have some type of sensivity training for how to treat new mothers...because as we all know- hell hath no fury like a hormonal pregnant woman and even LESS fury like a hormonal new mother that has been sleep deprived. I have always been underimpressed with the cleanliness of BabiesRUs and their poor customer service- why would I ask a 16-year-old how to pick the most safety efficient stroller for the health and wellbeing of my baby? And that's if you can find the 16-year-old that works there. They all happen to be on break when I'm there. I have actually gotten behind there customer service counter myself, gotten on their computer and looked up the availability of an item since I could not find someone. Yeah, now where's my $7.25 an hour?! So, clearly, the impressiveness bar is set very low for me.
But my trip 5 days post partum happened to be the straw that broke the camels back. My husband and I made our way to the front of the longest line ever to be waited on by a- you guessed it- 16-year-old. Unfortunately, our coupon was one day past it's expiration date. We kindly asked the perturbed looking manager, Steve, if we could use the coupon anyways. He, looking at my husband and I pushing our 5 day old baby in our stroller, said yes. How nice of Steve. However when I got out to the car, I realized that he gave us 20% off of a $4.00 container of ointment as opposed a a $40.00 box of diapers, so I proceeded back into the store to collect my $7.20.
Now good old Steve recognized me...as I had only been in there WITH MY BABY 25 seconds prior; however he decided to get huffy...which is the worst mistake he ever made.
As he processed my reimbursement, Mr. Steve decided to utter these words out of his mouth- Are you ready for this? "So, how much longer do you have?" Feeling quite certain I had misunderstood him, I stated back "Excuse me?" To which he proceeded "How much longer...of your pregnancy." Oh Steve. Steve, Steve, Steve. Now I realize he might have the short term memory of Dori from Finding Nemo, but really? All of the hormones in my body started to swirl around, my eyes bulged out, my voice got shrill, and the earth stood still for just one moment...the only thing I could muster was "You JUST saw me in here with my baby." Good ole Steve decided to banter back with his best argument, which will go down in the record books as the dumbest thing ever said by a male at Babies R Us- "Well when my wife had her babies, she always looked pregnant afterwards."
I'm guessing Steve's wife is a blessed woman with lots of patience; however if my husband portrayed me in such a flattering light to women that he was insulting, I don't know how entact my husband's head would still be.
So to finish out our conversation, I graciously told Steve to keep his mouth shut and give me my money...and then went out to the car and cried becuase the Babies R Us man still thought I looked pregnant...to which my very sensitive and appropriate husband consoled me and told me how amazing he thought I was.
So, the moral of this story- BOYCOTT BABIES R US- at least the one in Tulsa, Oklahoma! Will you continue to throw your money at an organization that insults women and provides less than acceptable bathrooms for mothers carrying new life? I say NO! These are the people that are ruining consumerism in this country!!! Don't let Steve steal your dignity and your civil liberty. Vote no with your dollars and take them elsewhere.
So other than that, I have been thinking about how the tip of my middle finger has yet to regain feeling since I was in labor over two weeks ago, how nipple creme is now a regular staple carry-along item in my purse along with my phone, keys and wallet, and finally how someone needs to invent a nursing bra that actually has SUPPORT as I don't care to add "saggy" to the list of words that currently describes how I feel about myself.
And they say becoming a mother makes one scatter brained...what are they talking about?!
The most profound thought in my mind today is the fact that I am officially boycotting BabiesRUS. That's right. I know it should be a staple in my life for the next 6-12 months; however I have decided that Babies R Us is the devil. Particularly the Store Manager, Steve, at the 71st and Memorial store in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Oh yeah, I'm naming names. Don't mess with hormonal mommies. Here is the story behind this revelation:
You would THINK that if you are going to place your livelihood in managing a store that is targeted at providing goods and services for new and expectant mothers, you would exhibit some type of new mother couth. Maybe they have classes like this for men-I'm not sure, but you would think that Babies R Us in particular might have some type of sensivity training for how to treat new mothers...because as we all know- hell hath no fury like a hormonal pregnant woman and even LESS fury like a hormonal new mother that has been sleep deprived. I have always been underimpressed with the cleanliness of BabiesRUs and their poor customer service- why would I ask a 16-year-old how to pick the most safety efficient stroller for the health and wellbeing of my baby? And that's if you can find the 16-year-old that works there. They all happen to be on break when I'm there. I have actually gotten behind there customer service counter myself, gotten on their computer and looked up the availability of an item since I could not find someone. Yeah, now where's my $7.25 an hour?! So, clearly, the impressiveness bar is set very low for me.
But my trip 5 days post partum happened to be the straw that broke the camels back. My husband and I made our way to the front of the longest line ever to be waited on by a- you guessed it- 16-year-old. Unfortunately, our coupon was one day past it's expiration date. We kindly asked the perturbed looking manager, Steve, if we could use the coupon anyways. He, looking at my husband and I pushing our 5 day old baby in our stroller, said yes. How nice of Steve. However when I got out to the car, I realized that he gave us 20% off of a $4.00 container of ointment as opposed a a $40.00 box of diapers, so I proceeded back into the store to collect my $7.20.
Now good old Steve recognized me...as I had only been in there WITH MY BABY 25 seconds prior; however he decided to get huffy...which is the worst mistake he ever made.
As he processed my reimbursement, Mr. Steve decided to utter these words out of his mouth- Are you ready for this? "So, how much longer do you have?" Feeling quite certain I had misunderstood him, I stated back "Excuse me?" To which he proceeded "How much longer...of your pregnancy." Oh Steve. Steve, Steve, Steve. Now I realize he might have the short term memory of Dori from Finding Nemo, but really? All of the hormones in my body started to swirl around, my eyes bulged out, my voice got shrill, and the earth stood still for just one moment...the only thing I could muster was "You JUST saw me in here with my baby." Good ole Steve decided to banter back with his best argument, which will go down in the record books as the dumbest thing ever said by a male at Babies R Us- "Well when my wife had her babies, she always looked pregnant afterwards."
I'm guessing Steve's wife is a blessed woman with lots of patience; however if my husband portrayed me in such a flattering light to women that he was insulting, I don't know how entact my husband's head would still be.
So to finish out our conversation, I graciously told Steve to keep his mouth shut and give me my money...and then went out to the car and cried becuase the Babies R Us man still thought I looked pregnant...to which my very sensitive and appropriate husband consoled me and told me how amazing he thought I was.
So, the moral of this story- BOYCOTT BABIES R US- at least the one in Tulsa, Oklahoma! Will you continue to throw your money at an organization that insults women and provides less than acceptable bathrooms for mothers carrying new life? I say NO! These are the people that are ruining consumerism in this country!!! Don't let Steve steal your dignity and your civil liberty. Vote no with your dollars and take them elsewhere.
So other than that, I have been thinking about how the tip of my middle finger has yet to regain feeling since I was in labor over two weeks ago, how nipple creme is now a regular staple carry-along item in my purse along with my phone, keys and wallet, and finally how someone needs to invent a nursing bra that actually has SUPPORT as I don't care to add "saggy" to the list of words that currently describes how I feel about myself.
And they say becoming a mother makes one scatter brained...what are they talking about?!
Friday, November 5, 2010
Welcome to Life
Baby Gus's pep talk worked...it might have been a few days late, but Baby Gus finally decided to make his appearance into the world and into our lives. October 24, 2010 will forever be remembered by me as the most beautiful day of my entire life. That does not mean that I looked beautiful by any means, but the day changed my life and exceeded every expectation of the moment I would get to lay eyes on my son. It's a crazy thing, really. To get to meet someone that you know is going to change your life. I mean, I remember meeting my husband, but I didn't know that he was going to be my husband at the time, so meeting him, while memorable, was inconsequential at the time.
For all of those who bet against me being able to complete a natural child birth- you LOSE. I know, I know- I lost money on that bet too :). I NEVER really thought I'd be able to do it. My goal was to just make it far enough so that all the people that I'd told I was going to try to do it naturally would not laugh at me for caving too early. God is good though and at every mile marker I set mentally to quit at, I progressed a little further. Plus, I call my husband my epidural because he massaged my back with tennis balls for at least 12 hours without stopping. So after 19 hours of labor, two hard working tennis balls, 2 1/2 hours of pushing, at least 5 repeats of the same Hillsong CD and about 1200 contractions later, a tiny miracle entered the world.
I don't know that my life has ever felt so full. With my mom on one side of me and my husband on the other, I watched a child that God has been creating and perfecting for over nine months make his first appearance into the world. It was exactly what I hoped it would be- even though every moment wasn't everything we had planned. The whole reason I was drawn to a natural experience was so that my husband and I could be an active part of the process. It's one of the most poignant pictures of a marriage- one member going through something so dramatic, but the other one right by their side going through it with them. My husband was 100% present 100% of the time.
And the climax of the whole story: seeing my baby for the first time. Ironically enough, the first thing I saw of him was his little feet- and no, he wasn't breach. My husband handed him to me and I saw his big blue eyes staring up at me. Words can't describe how full my heart felt..and still feels just thinking of it.
I had several thoughts that powered me through the 19 hours that it took to get my little boy here. Early on in my pregnancy, my husband asked me what he would be "allowed" to say in the event that I started to cave and ask for pain medicine. Since he knows me and knows how irrational I can be at times, he knew that he would have to choose his words very carefully- especially at a time when my emotions might be the most volatile. I accomodated by making him a list of 10 to 15 motivating factors that he would be allowed to read to me in the event that I started to lose heart. During the actual labor, I never asked him to read me my list...the only "reason" that I remember contemplating during my labor was the fact that I will probably never get to compete in the "Escape from Alcatraz". I remember picturing a runner and thinking- This is my marathon. Odd choice as I had several far more motivating factors, but apparently effective. I also remember during the peak of each contraction thinking "It's a choice" over and over again in my head.
I hope you'll forgive an entire post of sappiness and fluff, but you're dealing with the hormones of a new and sleep deprived mommy, so humor me. At the end of this chapter of my life, I feel like I met a hero and a miracle. My little boy is the sweetest gift I have ever been given in my life and I can't believe each day that I get to be a mommy to such an amazing little boy. And my hero- I have never been more in love with my husband than at this stage our lives together. Watching my husband become a daddy has been an incredible gift to see. And my life at this moment: full. Absolutely full.
For all of those who bet against me being able to complete a natural child birth- you LOSE. I know, I know- I lost money on that bet too :). I NEVER really thought I'd be able to do it. My goal was to just make it far enough so that all the people that I'd told I was going to try to do it naturally would not laugh at me for caving too early. God is good though and at every mile marker I set mentally to quit at, I progressed a little further. Plus, I call my husband my epidural because he massaged my back with tennis balls for at least 12 hours without stopping. So after 19 hours of labor, two hard working tennis balls, 2 1/2 hours of pushing, at least 5 repeats of the same Hillsong CD and about 1200 contractions later, a tiny miracle entered the world.
I don't know that my life has ever felt so full. With my mom on one side of me and my husband on the other, I watched a child that God has been creating and perfecting for over nine months make his first appearance into the world. It was exactly what I hoped it would be- even though every moment wasn't everything we had planned. The whole reason I was drawn to a natural experience was so that my husband and I could be an active part of the process. It's one of the most poignant pictures of a marriage- one member going through something so dramatic, but the other one right by their side going through it with them. My husband was 100% present 100% of the time.
And the climax of the whole story: seeing my baby for the first time. Ironically enough, the first thing I saw of him was his little feet- and no, he wasn't breach. My husband handed him to me and I saw his big blue eyes staring up at me. Words can't describe how full my heart felt..and still feels just thinking of it.
I had several thoughts that powered me through the 19 hours that it took to get my little boy here. Early on in my pregnancy, my husband asked me what he would be "allowed" to say in the event that I started to cave and ask for pain medicine. Since he knows me and knows how irrational I can be at times, he knew that he would have to choose his words very carefully- especially at a time when my emotions might be the most volatile. I accomodated by making him a list of 10 to 15 motivating factors that he would be allowed to read to me in the event that I started to lose heart. During the actual labor, I never asked him to read me my list...the only "reason" that I remember contemplating during my labor was the fact that I will probably never get to compete in the "Escape from Alcatraz". I remember picturing a runner and thinking- This is my marathon. Odd choice as I had several far more motivating factors, but apparently effective. I also remember during the peak of each contraction thinking "It's a choice" over and over again in my head.
I hope you'll forgive an entire post of sappiness and fluff, but you're dealing with the hormones of a new and sleep deprived mommy, so humor me. At the end of this chapter of my life, I feel like I met a hero and a miracle. My little boy is the sweetest gift I have ever been given in my life and I can't believe each day that I get to be a mommy to such an amazing little boy. And my hero- I have never been more in love with my husband than at this stage our lives together. Watching my husband become a daddy has been an incredible gift to see. And my life at this moment: full. Absolutely full.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
A pep talk for Baby Gus
My due date has come and gone. As much as I bragged and let on that I was totally fine going past my due date and letting our little man who my family lovingly refers to as Baby Gus bake as long as he can, I might not be the super hero woman that I thought I was and am getting a little on edge waiting for him. When you hear a deadline, it’s engrained with you- there is no other date in the history of the world short of my own birthday that I have ever quoted to so many people. When is your baby due? October 17th. It’s as easy as that. But now when I say October 17th it is PAST tense as opposed to future tense, which can cause a poor hormonal woman a teeny bit of angst. Not to mention the countless phone calls from people asking me if I’ve had a baby yet.
All along I have hoped that this sweet child of mine would be born on 10/23- for silly reasons that don’t really matter all that much- and quite honestly if I KNEW he was coming on that date, I don’t think I would have a problem. It’s just the fact that I don’t know and that I’m not in control. (I haven’t blogged about how I’m a control freak yet. That’s another topic for another day.) This leaves my mind reeling with all sorts of thoughts. For example; what if I’m the only woman in the history of the world to ever stay pregnant forever? As gratifying as being in the Guinness Book of World Records would be, I just don’t think it could compare to holding my little baby in my arms…and plus, they would probably just put my picture next to the woman with the world’s longest fingernails or something and I would just pale in comparison to her. Or maybe this has all been the world’s longest dream and I just believed it so much with all of my heart that I told all of my friends and family, but all that has really happened is that I have eaten too many oreos which as caused the wasteline expansion. Then, being a stereotypical woman who second guesses myself constantly, I have wondered if maybe Baby Gus doesn’t want to come meet me. Maybe he has the innate wisdom to know that his mother is a tad bit awkward, probably won’t let him drink pop until he’s 10, doesn’t really understand the rules to football and that he’s going to grow up in a house that doesn’t have cable television! Where’s the incentive to come out now?
In my desperation to want my baby to want to meet me, I have written him a letter. Now I am generally annoyed at people to send their children social networking messages when their children are not of the age to have such devices, but again, I am the CEO and President of this blog, so I can be a hypocrite when I want to be. In the event that technology is so advanced that my unborn child can access a weblog in utero, this is the message that I would like to send him:
Dear Baby Gus:
Your mommy and daddy are very excited to meet you and hope that you will come out very soon to meet us. Your mommy has put together a list of all the reasons that you probably really want to join us as soon as possible:
• Mommy made you your very first Halloween costume and if you don’t get here in time you won’t get to wear it. (This is true- I have MADE him the cutest Halloween costume- a hot dog. A tribute to my one and only craving during my pregnancy. Now this mommy doesn’t do ANYTHING crafty, so this is a huge achievement and I would be remisce if we weren’t able to utilize it.)
• We just bought Captain Crunch cereal at the grocery store. This is a very special treat and not something that I believe we have ever had in our house- however amazing things happen when you get bored at Target. At any rate, if you understand the science behind breast feeding, you will know that it is likely to taste like things that Mommy just ate, so if you play your cards right, you’ll get to indulge in this nectar of the gods in your first week of life.
• Your mommy and daddy finally picked out an AWESOME name for you and we CAN’T WAIT to tell everyone what it is. We haven’t told a soul your name except for the Etsy.com lady that made him his personalized blanket…and we are bursting at the seams.
• The Texas Rangers MIGHT just make it to the World series. This would be the first time ever in the history of the franchise and I just know that your Daddy would like to watch those monumental games with his little boy in tow.
• Your daddy has really big shoulders and the longer you're inside of mommy, the bigger your little shoulders get. All mommy can say is "yowza."
We have lots of fun things planned for you and hope that you really like us. Even though we don't know EVERYTHING that we're doing, we're going to try our best and promise to embarrass you as little as possible. We're all ready to meet you and can't wait to see what you look like. Come see us soon.
Love,
Daddy and Mommy
All along I have hoped that this sweet child of mine would be born on 10/23- for silly reasons that don’t really matter all that much- and quite honestly if I KNEW he was coming on that date, I don’t think I would have a problem. It’s just the fact that I don’t know and that I’m not in control. (I haven’t blogged about how I’m a control freak yet. That’s another topic for another day.) This leaves my mind reeling with all sorts of thoughts. For example; what if I’m the only woman in the history of the world to ever stay pregnant forever? As gratifying as being in the Guinness Book of World Records would be, I just don’t think it could compare to holding my little baby in my arms…and plus, they would probably just put my picture next to the woman with the world’s longest fingernails or something and I would just pale in comparison to her. Or maybe this has all been the world’s longest dream and I just believed it so much with all of my heart that I told all of my friends and family, but all that has really happened is that I have eaten too many oreos which as caused the wasteline expansion. Then, being a stereotypical woman who second guesses myself constantly, I have wondered if maybe Baby Gus doesn’t want to come meet me. Maybe he has the innate wisdom to know that his mother is a tad bit awkward, probably won’t let him drink pop until he’s 10, doesn’t really understand the rules to football and that he’s going to grow up in a house that doesn’t have cable television! Where’s the incentive to come out now?
In my desperation to want my baby to want to meet me, I have written him a letter. Now I am generally annoyed at people to send their children social networking messages when their children are not of the age to have such devices, but again, I am the CEO and President of this blog, so I can be a hypocrite when I want to be. In the event that technology is so advanced that my unborn child can access a weblog in utero, this is the message that I would like to send him:
Dear Baby Gus:
Your mommy and daddy are very excited to meet you and hope that you will come out very soon to meet us. Your mommy has put together a list of all the reasons that you probably really want to join us as soon as possible:
• Mommy made you your very first Halloween costume and if you don’t get here in time you won’t get to wear it. (This is true- I have MADE him the cutest Halloween costume- a hot dog. A tribute to my one and only craving during my pregnancy. Now this mommy doesn’t do ANYTHING crafty, so this is a huge achievement and I would be remisce if we weren’t able to utilize it.)
• We just bought Captain Crunch cereal at the grocery store. This is a very special treat and not something that I believe we have ever had in our house- however amazing things happen when you get bored at Target. At any rate, if you understand the science behind breast feeding, you will know that it is likely to taste like things that Mommy just ate, so if you play your cards right, you’ll get to indulge in this nectar of the gods in your first week of life.
• Your mommy and daddy finally picked out an AWESOME name for you and we CAN’T WAIT to tell everyone what it is. We haven’t told a soul your name except for the Etsy.com lady that made him his personalized blanket…and we are bursting at the seams.
• The Texas Rangers MIGHT just make it to the World series. This would be the first time ever in the history of the franchise and I just know that your Daddy would like to watch those monumental games with his little boy in tow.
• Your daddy has really big shoulders and the longer you're inside of mommy, the bigger your little shoulders get. All mommy can say is "yowza."
We have lots of fun things planned for you and hope that you really like us. Even though we don't know EVERYTHING that we're doing, we're going to try our best and promise to embarrass you as little as possible. We're all ready to meet you and can't wait to see what you look like. Come see us soon.
Love,
Daddy and Mommy
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Timing is everything
Here we are at t-minus 2 days to go- give or take depending on when I actually go into labor. I have my hospital bag half way packed, a pack-n-play in my bedroom, bottles in my kitchen cabinets and breast pads in my dresser drawer- I am officially ready to be a mother.
I got the question the other day, "so has anyone else said anything heinously inappropriate about your pregnancy lately." Ha ha! Of course they have! BUT as I am trying to finish out the pregnancy as Little Miss Mary Sunshine (in spite of my super swollen feet and the fact that I found my very first stretch mark) I thought I would share a NICE comment for once.
So I was stopped in a baby store by some people that knew me when I was growing up. We exchanged pleasantries and they commented on me being pregnant and then a miracle happened:
Sweet Lady that I will forever remember with fondness: Well, sweetie, now when are you due?
Me: Sunday is my due date.
Sweet Lady: Sunday? Well, my goodness,dear-you aren't that big!
What? I'm not that big?! I wanted to hug her in the potty chair aisle. After all of the people that asked me if I was having twins, after all of the gawking when I told people I wasn't due for two more months- I finally received my just reward! Ah, there is good in mankind :).
In all seriousness, being pregnant has been 9 of the most wonderful months of my life. It's amazing to actually live a miracle- not something that I get to do every day. I think I freaked my husband out when I said that I didn't mind if we were pregnant again really soon- to which he reminded me that the thing that happens after the pregnancy is the taking-care-of-the-kid thing which we have NO IDEA yet if we are any good at yet. Therefore I recanted my statement.
So I will forever be grateful to the sweet potty chair aisle lady. This on the night after I burst into tears after I tried real shoes on for the first time in 2 months and realized that none of my shoes fit any more. God really does know what we can handle...
I got the question the other day, "so has anyone else said anything heinously inappropriate about your pregnancy lately." Ha ha! Of course they have! BUT as I am trying to finish out the pregnancy as Little Miss Mary Sunshine (in spite of my super swollen feet and the fact that I found my very first stretch mark) I thought I would share a NICE comment for once.
So I was stopped in a baby store by some people that knew me when I was growing up. We exchanged pleasantries and they commented on me being pregnant and then a miracle happened:
Sweet Lady that I will forever remember with fondness: Well, sweetie, now when are you due?
Me: Sunday is my due date.
Sweet Lady: Sunday? Well, my goodness,dear-you aren't that big!
What? I'm not that big?! I wanted to hug her in the potty chair aisle. After all of the people that asked me if I was having twins, after all of the gawking when I told people I wasn't due for two more months- I finally received my just reward! Ah, there is good in mankind :).
In all seriousness, being pregnant has been 9 of the most wonderful months of my life. It's amazing to actually live a miracle- not something that I get to do every day. I think I freaked my husband out when I said that I didn't mind if we were pregnant again really soon- to which he reminded me that the thing that happens after the pregnancy is the taking-care-of-the-kid thing which we have NO IDEA yet if we are any good at yet. Therefore I recanted my statement.
So I will forever be grateful to the sweet potty chair aisle lady. This on the night after I burst into tears after I tried real shoes on for the first time in 2 months and realized that none of my shoes fit any more. God really does know what we can handle...
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Macho macho man...
I grew up with lots of sisters. In an effort to maintain my anonymity which is really quite silly as everyone that reads my blog is someone that I know, I will not say how many sisters that I have..but there are lots of us. We are a force to be reckoned with. All that being said, I know girls. I saw my mother raise lots of us. We're dramatic, we're hormonal, we're petty...we're girls! And for those of you who have learned about opposites- the opposite of girls are BOYS! Boys are scary. Which is why when our dr. told us that we were having a boy (his exact words were "well that's a weiner") it was quite a sobering moment for me- even in spite of the word weiner ringing in my ears.
Boys are a mystery to me. Even though I am married to one- I haven't quite figured them out. Our society would have us believe that they are shallow, non-complex, hot headed pigs who think about three things- sports, boobs and food- maybe throw in a video game here and there- but that's pretty much the sum of today's stereotypical American male. Our society would also have us believe that we women were sent here to earth to make these men civilized and that we, in all of our wisdom, put up with these men and their silliness. This is not what I believe- I believe that God can use a man of conviction and morals to do amazing things. Sadly, this is not what most of the men in today's society are being challenged to be.
Raising a boy is a scary thought for me because I see the world that they are being made to be brought up in, and I'll just say, it's not a friendly place. Boys have a lot against them- girls do to, but I feel that the very essence of who a man is is at risk in our society today. It's what I call the "deballification of the American Male"- which I know is classy, but hey, I'm going for truth, not class. I know that times change, people change and social norms change, but an observation that I have made as of late is that men are not encouraged to be men any more. They're not encouraged to pursue things like they once did or have a vision for anything more substantial than what's for dinner.
So all that to say- I'm shaking in my boots thinking about raising a boy in this next generation. How do you raise a boy to be a man that has a passion for God, has morals, has conviction and has a dream worth pursuing? I haven't quite figured it out yet.
I do know that I have a lot to learn. Case in point- last Saturday I was at my little brother's soccer game. I have lots of sister, but God put the cherry on top when He sent us our little brother who is 21 years younger than I am. He is 7 and is playing in his second year of soccer. As he played the goalie position, two goals got past him and one of his teammates started to get mad at him and told him he needed to do better. Now the big sister in me started to get livid upon witnessing this- and I am not a quiet, livid person. No, when I'm livid, I usually like to channel that into something non-productive- like tripping 7-year-olds. My plan to make this situation right was to trip the teammate as he ran by on the sidelines and tell him to watch himself. Nice- yes, not only am I a big sister, but I'm a role model too, apparently...and one that is getting ready to be a mother no less. As my brother came off the field crying and I inched my foot further away from me...I heard my mother consoling- not babying, but consoling my little brother by saying "He's going to do what he's going to do- you're not in control of him, you're only in control of yourself." Immediately I pulled my foot back and realized- this is exactly the moment that I would have needed to know how to be a good mom. Instead of fighting the battle for my little boy- or getting arrested for harming small children- I needed to be able to make this a life lesson- and had I been the mom in this situation, I would have completely failed.
So with t-minus 5 days to go, I have to admit that I have SO MUCH to learn. And I'm a little scared by that. I have heard the quote- "It's easier to build a boy then to mend a man." I am hoping that God gives me the wisdom as a mom to build a boy- complete with holding back my foot when I'd rather trip an adversary- rather then leave it up to someone else to mend a broken man. Maybe my son will come out with the perverbial handbook- or maybe I'll have to learn it along the way- complete with mistakes. Stay tuned for more mistakes, I have a feeling.
Boys are a mystery to me. Even though I am married to one- I haven't quite figured them out. Our society would have us believe that they are shallow, non-complex, hot headed pigs who think about three things- sports, boobs and food- maybe throw in a video game here and there- but that's pretty much the sum of today's stereotypical American male. Our society would also have us believe that we women were sent here to earth to make these men civilized and that we, in all of our wisdom, put up with these men and their silliness. This is not what I believe- I believe that God can use a man of conviction and morals to do amazing things. Sadly, this is not what most of the men in today's society are being challenged to be.
Raising a boy is a scary thought for me because I see the world that they are being made to be brought up in, and I'll just say, it's not a friendly place. Boys have a lot against them- girls do to, but I feel that the very essence of who a man is is at risk in our society today. It's what I call the "deballification of the American Male"- which I know is classy, but hey, I'm going for truth, not class. I know that times change, people change and social norms change, but an observation that I have made as of late is that men are not encouraged to be men any more. They're not encouraged to pursue things like they once did or have a vision for anything more substantial than what's for dinner.
So all that to say- I'm shaking in my boots thinking about raising a boy in this next generation. How do you raise a boy to be a man that has a passion for God, has morals, has conviction and has a dream worth pursuing? I haven't quite figured it out yet.
I do know that I have a lot to learn. Case in point- last Saturday I was at my little brother's soccer game. I have lots of sister, but God put the cherry on top when He sent us our little brother who is 21 years younger than I am. He is 7 and is playing in his second year of soccer. As he played the goalie position, two goals got past him and one of his teammates started to get mad at him and told him he needed to do better. Now the big sister in me started to get livid upon witnessing this- and I am not a quiet, livid person. No, when I'm livid, I usually like to channel that into something non-productive- like tripping 7-year-olds. My plan to make this situation right was to trip the teammate as he ran by on the sidelines and tell him to watch himself. Nice- yes, not only am I a big sister, but I'm a role model too, apparently...and one that is getting ready to be a mother no less. As my brother came off the field crying and I inched my foot further away from me...I heard my mother consoling- not babying, but consoling my little brother by saying "He's going to do what he's going to do- you're not in control of him, you're only in control of yourself." Immediately I pulled my foot back and realized- this is exactly the moment that I would have needed to know how to be a good mom. Instead of fighting the battle for my little boy- or getting arrested for harming small children- I needed to be able to make this a life lesson- and had I been the mom in this situation, I would have completely failed.
So with t-minus 5 days to go, I have to admit that I have SO MUCH to learn. And I'm a little scared by that. I have heard the quote- "It's easier to build a boy then to mend a man." I am hoping that God gives me the wisdom as a mom to build a boy- complete with holding back my foot when I'd rather trip an adversary- rather then leave it up to someone else to mend a broken man. Maybe my son will come out with the perverbial handbook- or maybe I'll have to learn it along the way- complete with mistakes. Stay tuned for more mistakes, I have a feeling.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
He's still the man, but you see he's a "They"
As I enter the last few weeks of my first pregnancy, I am drawn to explore yet one more facet of the phenomenon of carrying a child. I cannot believe that I am almost done being pregnant. In some ways I can't believe it's almost over because I can't believe I'm old enough to have a baby...and in some ways it feels like it's been the longest 9 months ever. Either way I have loved(almost)every minute of it. However it is about to come to a close and a new page is about to be turned (cue the hopeful, upbeat music). But I do promise that I have more content in my brain other than just random and opinionated thoughts about being pregnant..so you can look forward to that.
One of the last and final pregnancy frontiers that I would like to cover in these last 2-3 weeks of being a knocked up member of society is the stark contrast between mixed conversations between couples that HAVE had babies and couples that have not had babies. It's a fun social experiment to be sure.
I will start by saying that I am not always a very appropriate person- but usually not on purpose. I'm surprised that my wonderful husband of 5 1/2 years has not already died of embarassment from many of the things I have said. I work in a job where I conduct sexual harassment investigations on a regular basis, so we can just leave up to your own imaginations things that I say on a daily and professional basis. With all of that being said, I have not usually had a problem talking about taboo subjects and usually that works to the chagrin of my very appropriate husband. But one thing I have noticed about pregnancy is the difference in conversations that can be had between couples that have had babies and couples that haven't- particularly dads.
All of our friends have had babies. We are one of the last to have a child with only a few couple friends who are still footloose and fancy-free, so we have heard all about how each of our non-footloose friends have dilated, each of their labors in great detail and all of the gory details that go into this miracle called childbirth. Somewhere along the way we became desensitized to words like "uterus" "mucous plug" and "colostrum". However we forget that some people haven't. Case in point, the other day we were out with a couple that has not had children and I proceeded to explain that I can't lay on my back when I sleep any more since my uterus could press onto some artery and cause certain and immediate death. The second I said the "u" word, the footloose husband's eyes got really big and his face turned a little red..and there was an awkward silence- which I broke by saying "Oops I said uterus." Nice save.
Now take a non-footloose husband. He has gone through the dr's appointments, birthing classes, the breastfeeding classes. He has watched countless child births in class and likely even been forced to watch a c-section. Gone is the taboo of calling "girly parts" by their rightful name. I saw this played out while sitting with my sister and brother-in-law who have had two children of their own. I felt no shame in asking- in front of my male brother-in-law mind you- about the art of breast feeding, engorged breasts, baby latching...and he listened like we were talking about the weather or a recipe or something. My sister even said "now what's that foremilk stuff called." To which he confidently and without embarassment replied "colostrum."
So a stark difference and just another transformation that occurs during pregnancy. So say it proudly men- Uterus! Cervix! After birth! Mucous plug!
Holla out there to all of the uber involved husbands who care enough to go with their wives through this process as engaged and proactive daddy's. You know more about all of this stuff than you ever cared to know because you care so much about a lovely little mama who is carrying a tiny miracle that you already love more than you ever thought you could. You're officially "the man".
One of the last and final pregnancy frontiers that I would like to cover in these last 2-3 weeks of being a knocked up member of society is the stark contrast between mixed conversations between couples that HAVE had babies and couples that have not had babies. It's a fun social experiment to be sure.
I will start by saying that I am not always a very appropriate person- but usually not on purpose. I'm surprised that my wonderful husband of 5 1/2 years has not already died of embarassment from many of the things I have said. I work in a job where I conduct sexual harassment investigations on a regular basis, so we can just leave up to your own imaginations things that I say on a daily and professional basis. With all of that being said, I have not usually had a problem talking about taboo subjects and usually that works to the chagrin of my very appropriate husband. But one thing I have noticed about pregnancy is the difference in conversations that can be had between couples that have had babies and couples that haven't- particularly dads.
All of our friends have had babies. We are one of the last to have a child with only a few couple friends who are still footloose and fancy-free, so we have heard all about how each of our non-footloose friends have dilated, each of their labors in great detail and all of the gory details that go into this miracle called childbirth. Somewhere along the way we became desensitized to words like "uterus" "mucous plug" and "colostrum". However we forget that some people haven't. Case in point, the other day we were out with a couple that has not had children and I proceeded to explain that I can't lay on my back when I sleep any more since my uterus could press onto some artery and cause certain and immediate death. The second I said the "u" word, the footloose husband's eyes got really big and his face turned a little red..and there was an awkward silence- which I broke by saying "Oops I said uterus." Nice save.
Now take a non-footloose husband. He has gone through the dr's appointments, birthing classes, the breastfeeding classes. He has watched countless child births in class and likely even been forced to watch a c-section. Gone is the taboo of calling "girly parts" by their rightful name. I saw this played out while sitting with my sister and brother-in-law who have had two children of their own. I felt no shame in asking- in front of my male brother-in-law mind you- about the art of breast feeding, engorged breasts, baby latching...and he listened like we were talking about the weather or a recipe or something. My sister even said "now what's that foremilk stuff called." To which he confidently and without embarassment replied "colostrum."
So a stark difference and just another transformation that occurs during pregnancy. So say it proudly men- Uterus! Cervix! After birth! Mucous plug!
Holla out there to all of the uber involved husbands who care enough to go with their wives through this process as engaged and proactive daddy's. You know more about all of this stuff than you ever cared to know because you care so much about a lovely little mama who is carrying a tiny miracle that you already love more than you ever thought you could. You're officially "the man".
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