I am into my fourth week of being on maternity leave. It has been completely fabulous and I words can't even describe how much I love spending time with my little boy. I have never stayed home in my life except for two weeks when I was unemployed. I got my first job when I was 16 and have worked ever since unless I was on a mission trip- I am not even joking. So being home is a weird, but wonderful feeling. Too bad it can't last forever...
I will say the one DOWNSIDE to being at home is day time television. FOR REAL. I am terribly unimpressed with what is offered as well as what is covered. As previously stated, we do not have cable television in our home. It wasn't until about two months ago that this family even had the internet, so we aren't going any where (technologically speaking) fast. Now, I love a good "Today show"- in fact that used to be my life's ambition- to be the next "Katie Couric" back in her Today show days. But the rest of it is just depressing. Here are a few thoughts on how non-exciting day time television is:
• America's Funniest Home Videos- This show is on ALL THE TIME. And while you think that seeing someone get hit on the crotch while trying to break a pinata will never get old- it actually will. Why is this show on at all hours of the day? And why are all of the videos from the 90's? Probably because everyone is posting their videos now to YouTube, so I am seeing an economic breakdown where home movies are concerned. Hopefully the YouTube generation will shut this show down. I really just can't take it any more.
• There are 100,000 Dr shows on day time television. It's a wonder that people that are able to stay at home all day aren't hypochondriacs. Between Dr. Oz, the Doctor's and all of the herbal supplement informercials, I have discovered that I can use alcaseltzer as a remedy for canker sores, I will probably die of heart disease becuase I have a stressful job, my bra doesn't fit me correctly and if I don't take my entire antibiotic as prescribed, my liver might explode..or something like that.
• What the heck are we paying loads of money for? I saw a news story on a chimpanzee at a zoo that was addicted to cigarettes. Well, apparently the story doesn't stop there. Someone out there felt the need to send that chimp to REHAB! Yes, somewhere out there, someone has the superfluous dollars to send a monkey to a rehabilitation center. Why that generous donor can't write me a big fat check so that I can stay at home with my little boy is beyond me. Clearly, helping a primate kick the habit of tobacco is a far loftier charity. Come on, people. There are hungry people in our own backyards, there are children that are dying of child abuse because we don't have the resources to take them out of their homes, the rent in New York is to dang high and yet we are paying for MONKEYS TO GO TO REHAB. Do I need to say it one more time? Spare me- my heart rate is getting higher, which Dr. Oz would tell you will kill me in time..and stress is bad for weightloss.
• Do we need any more gameshows in America? And where are they getting all of these studio audience people? I have never heard someone tell me that they are going on vacation and they get to sit in the audience to watch a taping of "Let's Make a Deal." I don't even think I would go if someone offered me free tickets. I think my favorite was watching a Muslim family wearing burka's compete on "Family Feud". Now I'm all about diversity...and there is nothing wrong with wearing a burka if you so choose; however it just seems like a complete paradox to be on a game show listing off jobs in which men can go shirtless and still be wearing a burka. Odd combination...but whatever.
• How does one get to be labled an "expert" in America? I want to be one. I could tell you the same things these "experts" are telling people and probably save you a ton of money on the research end of it. Here is an example- "Experts say that men and women really ARE different." or "Experts say that kids who text more than 200 times a day are more likely to be involved in activities there parents don't know about." WHAT? Why did we need to do a study on this? I could have told you that. It's called boundaries people!! Set them. Ay yay yay. Again, with the heart rate. Maybe this falls under the chimps with smoking habits category, but do we really need to so studies on things that are just common sense? And what does it pay to be an expert anyways? Are there are any part time expert jobs available out there? I think I would make a darn good expert.
Don't even get me started on all of the courtroom television shows. I haven't let myself watch even one becuase I think I would become too depressed. Maybe an "expert" should do a study on how smart it is to let your unemployed boyfriend come live with you and borrow your money to "fix his car." 9 out of 10 experts agree that he will probably use your car money to buy presents for the girl that he's cheating on you with, move out, take your furniture and leave a stain on the carpet... and you will wind up on Judge Judy trying to get back your security deposit. Classy stuff, folks.
Therefore I am opting to shut off the day time television and watch old episodes of "I love Lucy." Much more realistic than the society that we live in today...
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